Yesterday's meeting went well... That's all I can really say about it. Nothing concrete. As I predicted yesterday, it fell slap bang in the middle (a position that's uncomfortably comfortable for me). I met with my commercial agent, as I knew I would and then, after much waiting around, the head honcho was ready to see me. She opened the meeting by pinching the bridge of her nose and sighing. She then peered over the top of her bifocal lenses and asked me, "do you ever have those days where absolutely everything and everyone irritates the hell out of you?" Not a good sign y'all! I nervously joked that I felt like that every other day, hormones ya know. She actually laughed and by a few mins in, I had her happily chatting away. Phew! It was clear to me, right away, that today was not the day to ask for anything. Instead, I decided, today I would make her love me. I think it worked. Time will tell. I keep trying to remember to just be myself and continue to put good vibes out there. Hopefully the good karma will come on back my way. Needless to say, there were no offers made on her part and no demands on mine. We just had a nice conversation. I hopped in my car and drove on home.
During my ride home, I thought about my product of the day. Although I do enjoy making silly jokes via awkward product placement, I do think I should be a responsible blogger. Its not just about making money. Don't get me wrong, I'd like to be in it for the money, but so far, nahda, so I may as well pimp things I actually believe in. So I asked myself, what was the best book I ever read about acting/auditioning? That's not a difficult question to answer. By far and away, the best book I've ever read about acting is Audition by Michael Shurtleff. Even though its slightly dated, good advise is timeless. In fact, I should probably re-read it. To any young actor out there who needs to be brought back down to earth, this is the read for you.
So that's it for now my friends. I have a rehearsal and a shoot lined up for this weekend. The best part about that is, I'll be able to update my resume for the first time in about a year!!!! Oh happy day!
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Live in Action
I'm blogging to you live from the Starbucks by the Target on the corner of Santa Monica and La Brea! I'm mid busy day and killing time between morning audition and afternoon meeting.
I spoke to my dad this morning and he expressed his distaste for my "depressing post" yesterday. I'd officially like to apologize for bumming anyone out either last night or this morning. If you haven't read it yet, maybe don't. I explained to him that its just the reality of what I've been trying to do. I guess I'd, subconsciously, committed to telling the truth in this here blog. Sometimes the truth is ugly, sorry everyone. I really do try to keep it light most of the time. As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I knew I'd feel better tomorrow. Well its tomorrow and I do feel better. Not back flips down the street better, but better non the less.
I went to an audition for a print ad this morning. The holding room at auditions is usually super depressing, and a little stinky. Nervous sweat mixed with stress-induced irritable bowl kinda stinky (am trying to give you a vivid, accurate description so that you really feel like you're there with me. Did it work? LOL). Today, however, in walked a ray of sunshine named Daniel. I did't know this kid, nor did anyone else in the room. He was just one more actor livin' the dream. He immediately began speaking to everyone in the room. Not in the annoying, "look at me!" kind of way, but with a genuine interest in getting to know everyone there. He was trying to listen for people's names as the monitor called them out and then remember them afterwords. It was hilarious! I've never seen anything like it in an audition. By the end of the time I spent in the room with this quirky being, everyone, including myself had a smile on their face and a bounce in their step. Now that's powerful! Good for you Daniel, whoever you are! Keep on keepin' on!
At 2:30 today I have a meeting with my commercial agent. I'll also be meeting the head of the agency. Her name is Bonnie and she also represents talent for Film and TV. She's a great agent but til now wouldn't meet with me because I didn't have "strong enough credits." This is the opportunity I've been waiting for for the past almost 3 years now. Its taken me 3 years to merely meet the head of an agency with which I'm already signed... that's LA for ya. This meeting may be as insignificant as a poke of a head around a corner to say hello, or this woman could be inexplicably wowed by my very presence and demand to represent me on the spot... Perhaps it will fall somewhere in the middle. Fall where it may, it's a step in the right direction. Wish me luck!
I'm endorsing a "product of the day" from now on. I'm just as bad as your favorite TV show now :). Since I feel a little guilty for unloading on you all yesterday, here's a little something that might make you all feel better. Heehee.
I spoke to my dad this morning and he expressed his distaste for my "depressing post" yesterday. I'd officially like to apologize for bumming anyone out either last night or this morning. If you haven't read it yet, maybe don't. I explained to him that its just the reality of what I've been trying to do. I guess I'd, subconsciously, committed to telling the truth in this here blog. Sometimes the truth is ugly, sorry everyone. I really do try to keep it light most of the time. As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I knew I'd feel better tomorrow. Well its tomorrow and I do feel better. Not back flips down the street better, but better non the less.
I went to an audition for a print ad this morning. The holding room at auditions is usually super depressing, and a little stinky. Nervous sweat mixed with stress-induced irritable bowl kinda stinky (am trying to give you a vivid, accurate description so that you really feel like you're there with me. Did it work? LOL). Today, however, in walked a ray of sunshine named Daniel. I did't know this kid, nor did anyone else in the room. He was just one more actor livin' the dream. He immediately began speaking to everyone in the room. Not in the annoying, "look at me!" kind of way, but with a genuine interest in getting to know everyone there. He was trying to listen for people's names as the monitor called them out and then remember them afterwords. It was hilarious! I've never seen anything like it in an audition. By the end of the time I spent in the room with this quirky being, everyone, including myself had a smile on their face and a bounce in their step. Now that's powerful! Good for you Daniel, whoever you are! Keep on keepin' on!
At 2:30 today I have a meeting with my commercial agent. I'll also be meeting the head of the agency. Her name is Bonnie and she also represents talent for Film and TV. She's a great agent but til now wouldn't meet with me because I didn't have "strong enough credits." This is the opportunity I've been waiting for for the past almost 3 years now. Its taken me 3 years to merely meet the head of an agency with which I'm already signed... that's LA for ya. This meeting may be as insignificant as a poke of a head around a corner to say hello, or this woman could be inexplicably wowed by my very presence and demand to represent me on the spot... Perhaps it will fall somewhere in the middle. Fall where it may, it's a step in the right direction. Wish me luck!
I'm endorsing a "product of the day" from now on. I'm just as bad as your favorite TV show now :). Since I feel a little guilty for unloading on you all yesterday, here's a little something that might make you all feel better. Heehee.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Support
Becoming successful requires motivation, persistence, skill, talent, luck, and it certainly helps to have reinforcement from your friends and family. Support comes in many forms. When you've been pursuing an elusive goal for as long as I have, if you're lucky, you've seen just about every form of support that exists. At some point one has to ask the question, how much longer can this go on? How much longer to I deserve support?
There's the support that comes in the form of a much needed pep talk.
There's tough love, i.e. "Get up off your lazy butt and do what you have to do! Stop feeling sorry for yourself! There are starving children in Africa! When I was your age I had to walk to school up hill both ways in the snow with no shoes!" etc.
There's monetary support.
There's the support of a good education.
There's support that comes in the form of a rambling, two hour conversation just to keep you company while your driving home.
Did I mention monetary support? I guess it's worth mentioning twice.
After a while, you can't help but feel as though the well might be getting dry. You can hear your would-be-supporter's voice, they're trying to be optimistic for you, but they've just stopped believing. Exasperation is a pretty hard emotion to mask.
When starting out in the business, you tell yourself it'll be worth it one day. I'll make it up to them. But with every year that goes by, you're still struggling, and this becomes harder and harder to believe. Everyone talks about how hard it is to become a successful actor. People think they know what they're talking about, and I thought I knew what they were talking about when I bucked their warnings. "I can handle it!" I insisted. However, with each day that passes I discover a new, more painful way that this proves to be difficult. The most painful thing I've discovered to date, is the slow-fading enthusiasm in the eyes of those who once burst with pride.
The thing is, I get it. I totally understand why one would have apprehensions about getting behind yet another scheme, another angle, another gamble. I'm starting to feel like the crazy uncle in the movie "Parenthood," who has a kid and names him Cool. If you don't know what I'm talking about, Netflix it. Its a great movie! I digress.
I've always been as practical as a dreamer could possibly be and this makes it even more unbearable. I know how I must appear. Almost 30, still struggling, still broke, still asking my parents for money, still not substantially closer to my goals... yuck. Don't worry, I will continue to plug away, but be warned everyone! All of you young or not so young folk who wonder what it might be like... This is what it's like!
I know this all sounds super dramatic, but that's me. Tomorrow I'll be singing show tunes and doing back flips down the street (figuratively, not literally. I've never been able to tumble).
To summarize, thank you to everyone who has ever supported me! One day people, one day!
There's the support that comes in the form of a much needed pep talk.
There's tough love, i.e. "Get up off your lazy butt and do what you have to do! Stop feeling sorry for yourself! There are starving children in Africa! When I was your age I had to walk to school up hill both ways in the snow with no shoes!" etc.
There's monetary support.
There's the support of a good education.
There's support that comes in the form of a rambling, two hour conversation just to keep you company while your driving home.
Did I mention monetary support? I guess it's worth mentioning twice.
After a while, you can't help but feel as though the well might be getting dry. You can hear your would-be-supporter's voice, they're trying to be optimistic for you, but they've just stopped believing. Exasperation is a pretty hard emotion to mask.
When starting out in the business, you tell yourself it'll be worth it one day. I'll make it up to them. But with every year that goes by, you're still struggling, and this becomes harder and harder to believe. Everyone talks about how hard it is to become a successful actor. People think they know what they're talking about, and I thought I knew what they were talking about when I bucked their warnings. "I can handle it!" I insisted. However, with each day that passes I discover a new, more painful way that this proves to be difficult. The most painful thing I've discovered to date, is the slow-fading enthusiasm in the eyes of those who once burst with pride.
The thing is, I get it. I totally understand why one would have apprehensions about getting behind yet another scheme, another angle, another gamble. I'm starting to feel like the crazy uncle in the movie "Parenthood," who has a kid and names him Cool. If you don't know what I'm talking about, Netflix it. Its a great movie! I digress.
I've always been as practical as a dreamer could possibly be and this makes it even more unbearable. I know how I must appear. Almost 30, still struggling, still broke, still asking my parents for money, still not substantially closer to my goals... yuck. Don't worry, I will continue to plug away, but be warned everyone! All of you young or not so young folk who wonder what it might be like... This is what it's like!
I know this all sounds super dramatic, but that's me. Tomorrow I'll be singing show tunes and doing back flips down the street (figuratively, not literally. I've never been able to tumble).
To summarize, thank you to everyone who has ever supported me! One day people, one day!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
2 Legit 2 Quit!
So I had an actual rehearsal for a short film last night! The script is amazing and doesn't involve me compromising myself in any way! HOLLA! I play the, recently, ex-girlfriend of a middle eastern college student. It's set in present day after a slew of 9/11-type terrorist attacks. The government has begun rounding up all people of middle eastern decent and putting them in internment camps. The film starts as the boyfriend and his cousin arrive at my character's house seeking refuge while they await a ride into Mexico. Very tense, very interesting!
This is not all my good news! I also booked another short film that shoots this weekend. Again, its a solid script that requires no angst on my part. YAY ME! Now, if I could only pay my bills :) That was for you Mom! LOL!
This is not all my good news! I also booked another short film that shoots this weekend. Again, its a solid script that requires no angst on my part. YAY ME! Now, if I could only pay my bills :) That was for you Mom! LOL!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
I’m Schmacting My Ass Off!
First of all, I'd like to credit my dad with the title of this post… If you know my dad, this totally makes sense ☺.
The title also makes sense because that is exactly what I’ve been doing. I have managed to book 4 schmacting jobs and 1 acting job in, like, three weeks. Just like the old adage says, “it never rains, but it leaves me in a soggy, muddy puddle in the middle of the 101 North.” On the one hand, I feel great about it all, on the other hand I feel really broke, and so does my bank account. (It called me the other day complaining about how all I do its take, take, take.) You may wonder, “how are you broke when you just booked so many jobs?” As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t get paid for non-union work for three months! Mid July is gonna be awesome people, that is, if I don’t get arrested for robbing a liquor store in the mean time. 24601! That’s a little Les Mis reference for all my theatre geek friends. I’m such a Jean Val Jean type ☺.
Now to tell you a little about said jobs. The first was a low budget regional commercial for a jewelry dealership. Hardly my big break, but the shoot was actually really fun and I made connections with at really great production company. I’m always happy to work for nice people.
The second job was a web video for an apartment complex. This company owns 90 properties around the Irvine/LA area and they were making introductory-type videos for all of them. Lots of work!!! The shoot was super fast, (my hair and make-up took longer than the shoot itself!) but it was painful, and here’s why. One of the cardinal rules for a director is never to give “line readings.” What this means is that you should never ask an actor to simply imitate the way you’re saying something. The reason being, is that the director is a director, not an actor. He or she may think that what they’re exemplifying is what they want, but because they’re not trained as actors, it may look very different from what they meant to communicate. It’s much more affective to explain the objective of the piece, what you would like to communicate, give “motivation,” as it were. I know this sounds high maintenance, but it’s really to only way to accomplish quality work. This being said, the director of this web video stopped me after the very first line and immediately gave me the strangest line reading I’d ever heard. I would never speak that way in a million years, nor have I ever seen anyone else speak that, way on purpose, unless they were trying to be bizarre. It was so weird. Before we began, he explained that the piece should feel conversational, as though I was speaking to a friend and not selling something. It sounds simple enough right? You can imagine my confusion when he said my lines at me in an odd slow motion that reminded me of a cross between Mr. Rogers and The Riddler, from Batman, creepy. It continued that way for the next hour or so. He stopped me every other line, with an equally maniacal reading. I got through it, but I’m a little worried about how it turned out. I would hate for there to be a video of me, floating around the internet, eerily beckoning strangers to rent Irvine apartments like Snow White’s wicked stepmother temping with her juicy red apple.
The third job was for a communications company. This one, you might actually see! I think might be a funny one, but I can’t tell you anything about the concept for confidentially reasons. Fingers crossed! The shoot was very strange because I spent the better part of 8hrs making the same facial expression (shocked, surprised, happy) over and over again. When shooting a commercial, many times, there’s a director who acts as a middle-man for the marketing agency. The people from the agency sit in a separate room and watch the shoot on a tv monitor. The director has a wire in his ear so that the agency can tell him what they want him to tell me… You can see how this could be a disaster. What’s the phrase? Too many cooks in the kitchen, um yeah. Anyway, throughout the shoot, everyone seemed unhappy with what I was doing. They wanted me to, "smile more and laugh a little, but not too much. Don't move your shoulders, now you look stiff, don't raise your eyebrows, be natural but don't move. Keep your eyes focused in one spot but look around!" A miserable 8hrs later, I was on the shuttle that takes everyone back to the parking lot. Sitting next to me, were the people from the ad agency… They were beaming at me! “Oh my gosh you were so great!!! So funny! We’re super happy with what you did!!” Huh? I’m thinking wha???? Whateves. I was just so happy it was over with, I jumped in my car and zoomed home!
The fourth was a print/video job that will be shown at a major convention in Vegas. It was for a very large company that owns a tv channel, theme park, and much, much more. Just wanted to give you a bit of a hint. In this one, I was a young mom. I’ll keep it short as I know this is a very long post. I’ll just sum it up by saying as soon as I got there I was taken to hair and make-up. No sooner did I sit down, but the make-up artist said to me, “oh my gosh you look like poo!” Um, excuse me? She cackled like a crazy person and said, “oh no, no, I mean like Pooh Bear, Winnie the Pooh!” Cuz that’s better, right? WTF? I look like a yellow, crop top wearing cartoon bear? What is going on? This pretty much summed up my day. There were crying babies with over attentive, yuppy parents, khaki capris, and sensible button down shirts… That was about it.
I have a rehearsal for an actual short film tomorrow. Excited about it. Nervous that it won’t, actually, get shot. Looking forward to doing some real scene work. Very glad it’s here in SD and doesn’t involve adding more miles to my already creaking vehicle. I love you my little Elantra, you make me proud. We’ll hang in there together!
The title also makes sense because that is exactly what I’ve been doing. I have managed to book 4 schmacting jobs and 1 acting job in, like, three weeks. Just like the old adage says, “it never rains, but it leaves me in a soggy, muddy puddle in the middle of the 101 North.” On the one hand, I feel great about it all, on the other hand I feel really broke, and so does my bank account. (It called me the other day complaining about how all I do its take, take, take.) You may wonder, “how are you broke when you just booked so many jobs?” As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t get paid for non-union work for three months! Mid July is gonna be awesome people, that is, if I don’t get arrested for robbing a liquor store in the mean time. 24601! That’s a little Les Mis reference for all my theatre geek friends. I’m such a Jean Val Jean type ☺.
Now to tell you a little about said jobs. The first was a low budget regional commercial for a jewelry dealership. Hardly my big break, but the shoot was actually really fun and I made connections with at really great production company. I’m always happy to work for nice people.
The second job was a web video for an apartment complex. This company owns 90 properties around the Irvine/LA area and they were making introductory-type videos for all of them. Lots of work!!! The shoot was super fast, (my hair and make-up took longer than the shoot itself!) but it was painful, and here’s why. One of the cardinal rules for a director is never to give “line readings.” What this means is that you should never ask an actor to simply imitate the way you’re saying something. The reason being, is that the director is a director, not an actor. He or she may think that what they’re exemplifying is what they want, but because they’re not trained as actors, it may look very different from what they meant to communicate. It’s much more affective to explain the objective of the piece, what you would like to communicate, give “motivation,” as it were. I know this sounds high maintenance, but it’s really to only way to accomplish quality work. This being said, the director of this web video stopped me after the very first line and immediately gave me the strangest line reading I’d ever heard. I would never speak that way in a million years, nor have I ever seen anyone else speak that, way on purpose, unless they were trying to be bizarre. It was so weird. Before we began, he explained that the piece should feel conversational, as though I was speaking to a friend and not selling something. It sounds simple enough right? You can imagine my confusion when he said my lines at me in an odd slow motion that reminded me of a cross between Mr. Rogers and The Riddler, from Batman, creepy. It continued that way for the next hour or so. He stopped me every other line, with an equally maniacal reading. I got through it, but I’m a little worried about how it turned out. I would hate for there to be a video of me, floating around the internet, eerily beckoning strangers to rent Irvine apartments like Snow White’s wicked stepmother temping with her juicy red apple.
The third job was for a communications company. This one, you might actually see! I think might be a funny one, but I can’t tell you anything about the concept for confidentially reasons. Fingers crossed! The shoot was very strange because I spent the better part of 8hrs making the same facial expression (shocked, surprised, happy) over and over again. When shooting a commercial, many times, there’s a director who acts as a middle-man for the marketing agency. The people from the agency sit in a separate room and watch the shoot on a tv monitor. The director has a wire in his ear so that the agency can tell him what they want him to tell me… You can see how this could be a disaster. What’s the phrase? Too many cooks in the kitchen, um yeah. Anyway, throughout the shoot, everyone seemed unhappy with what I was doing. They wanted me to, "smile more and laugh a little, but not too much. Don't move your shoulders, now you look stiff, don't raise your eyebrows, be natural but don't move. Keep your eyes focused in one spot but look around!" A miserable 8hrs later, I was on the shuttle that takes everyone back to the parking lot. Sitting next to me, were the people from the ad agency… They were beaming at me! “Oh my gosh you were so great!!! So funny! We’re super happy with what you did!!” Huh? I’m thinking wha???? Whateves. I was just so happy it was over with, I jumped in my car and zoomed home!
The fourth was a print/video job that will be shown at a major convention in Vegas. It was for a very large company that owns a tv channel, theme park, and much, much more. Just wanted to give you a bit of a hint. In this one, I was a young mom. I’ll keep it short as I know this is a very long post. I’ll just sum it up by saying as soon as I got there I was taken to hair and make-up. No sooner did I sit down, but the make-up artist said to me, “oh my gosh you look like poo!” Um, excuse me? She cackled like a crazy person and said, “oh no, no, I mean like Pooh Bear, Winnie the Pooh!” Cuz that’s better, right? WTF? I look like a yellow, crop top wearing cartoon bear? What is going on? This pretty much summed up my day. There were crying babies with over attentive, yuppy parents, khaki capris, and sensible button down shirts… That was about it.
I have a rehearsal for an actual short film tomorrow. Excited about it. Nervous that it won’t, actually, get shot. Looking forward to doing some real scene work. Very glad it’s here in SD and doesn’t involve adding more miles to my already creaking vehicle. I love you my little Elantra, you make me proud. We’ll hang in there together!
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